Wednesday, November 29, 2006

It is Wednesday, that means its laundry night. I’m between loads and checking out the radio blog club that John commented on. It might be the best piece of information that anyone has ever got from my blog…

Sorry I’m back now and listening to some Ray Charles. This blog might take awhile because I’ll be leaving soon to throw my clothes into the dryer too. I tried looking for my favourite George Harrison song; For You Blue but it’s not on the site. If anyone is wondering what the hell song is that, its the one that includes; …go Johnny go.. …this boy’s got nothing on Elmore James.. or something like that. This website only has one Elmore James song on it.

BRB

I’m back and let me say that I’m not the type to threaten to kill my dog to get a comment or two, but you people are killing me. BTW Rob, posting pictures of a dead dog would NOT make a good blog. I might have been having a sensitive moment but googling dead puppy photos just makes you sad, so I didn’t blog them. See that’s what I’m talking bout!! I throw out these gold nugget blogs and get nary a comment. Do you know how long it took me to upload those dead people and no one wanted to play. I love you Trudy (Karl already knows that) the correct answer was ddaaddaaaadddaadd. Let me know how you did because I could care less too. That night I took a tip off Dan McBride and updated my blog while playing on-line poker. Found the dead or alive website and thought ….hmmmm, okay so maybe they're not all gold. But everyone agrees the comments can sometimes be the best part…

BRB

…So leave one once and awhile!! When a fellow blogger updates I usually comment but than again I just like the attention. We should use each other’s blogspots more as a forum to share ideas in a string of comments …started by some asshole threatening his dog. For the anniversary of George Harrison; What is your favourite Harrison tune?

I gotta go eat… mmmm

Here is TV Land’s list of The 100 Greatest TV Quotes and Catch Phrases. Let us know if you think any were left out...

The greatest number of moments, 26, come from the 1970s. TV Land identified nine moments from this decade. Ten are from commercials, and 28 from comedies, including six from "Saturday Night Live."

In alphabetical order, TV Land's list:

"Aaay" (Fonzie, "Happy Days")
"And that's the way it is" (Walter Cronkite, "CBS Evening News")
"Ask not what your country can do for you ..." (John F. Kennedy)
"Baby, you're the greatest" (Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden, "The Honeymooners")
"Bam!" (Emeril Lagasse, "Emeril Live")
"Book 'em, Danno" (Steve McGarrett, "Hawaii Five-O")
"Come on down!" (Johnny Olson, "The Price is Right")
"Danger, Will Robinson" (Robot, "Lost in Space")
"De plane! De plane!" (Tattoo, "Fantasy Island")
"Denny Crane" (Denny Crane, "Boston Legal")
"Do you believe in miracles?" (Al Michaels, 1980 Winter Olympics)
"D'oh!" (Homer Simpson, "The Simpsons")
"Don't make me angry ..." (David Banner, "The Incredible Hulk")
"Dyn-o-mite" (J.J., "Good Times")
"Elizabeth, I'm coming!" (Fred Sanford, "Sanford and Son")
"Gee, Mrs. Cleaver ..." (Eddie Haskell, "Leave it to Beaver")
"God'll get you for that" (Maude, "Maude")
"Good grief" (Charlie Brown, "Peanuts" specials)
"Good night, and good luck" (Edward R. Murrow, "See It Now")
"Good night, John Boy" ("The Waltons")
"Have you no sense of decency?" (Joseph Welch to Sen. McCarthy)
"Heh heh" (Beavis and Butt-head, "Beavis and Butthead")
"Here it is, your moment of Zen" (Jon Stewart, "The Daily Show")
"Here's Johnny!" (Ed McMahon, "The Tonight Show")
"Hey now!" (Hank Kingsley, "The Larry Sanders Show")
"Hey hey hey!" (Dwayne Nelson, "What's Happening!!")
"Hey hey hey!" (Fat Albert, "Fat Albert")
"Holy (whatever), Batman!" (Robin, "Batman")
"Holy crap!" (Frank Barone, "Everybody Loves Raymond")
"Homey don't play that!" (Homey the Clown, "In Living Color")
"How sweet it is!" (Jackie Gleason, "The Jackie Gleason Show")
"How you doin'?" (Joey Tribbiani, "Friends")
"I can't believe I ate the whole thing" (Alka Seltzer ad)
"I know nothing!" (Sgt. Schultz, "Hogan's Heroes")
"I love it when a plan comes together" (Hannibal, "The A-Team")
"I want my MTV!" (MTV ad)
"I'm Larry, this is my brother Darryl ..." (Larry, "Newhart")
"I'm not a crook ..." (Richard Nixon)
"I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV" (Vicks Formula 44 ad)
"I'm Rick James, bitch!" (Dave Chappelle as Rick James, "Chappelle's Show")
"Is that your final answer?" (Regis Philbin, "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire")
"It keeps going and going and going ..." (Energizer Batteries ad)
"It takes a licking ..." (Timex ad)
"Jane, you ignorant slut" (Dan Aykroyd to Jane Curtin, "Saturday Night Live")
"Just one more thing ..." (Columbo, "Columbo")
"Let's be careful out there" (Sgt. Esterhaus, "Hill Street Blues")
"Let's get ready to rumble!" (Michael Buffer, various sports events)
"Live long and prosper" (Spock, "Star Trek")
"Makin' whoopie" (Bob Eubanks, "The Newlywed Game")
"Mom always liked you best" (Tommy Smothers, "The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour")
"Never assume ..." (Felix Unger, "The Odd Couple")
"Nip it!" (Barney Fife, "The Andy Griffith Show")
"No soup for you!" (The Soup Nazi, "Seinfeld")
"Norm!" ("Cheers")
"Now cut that out!" (Jack Benny, "The Jack Benny Program")
"Oh, my God! They killed Kenny!" (Stan and Kyle, "South Park")
"Oh, my nose!" (Marcia Brady, "The Brady Bunch")
"One small step for man ..." (Neil Armstrong)
"Pardon me, would you have any Grey Poupon?" (Grey Poupon ad)
"Read my lips: No new taxes!" (George H.W. Bush)
"Resistance is futile" (Picard as Borg, "Star Trek: The Next Generation")
"Say good night, Gracie" (George Burns, "The Burns & Allen Show")
"Schwing!" (Mike Myers and Dana Carvey as Wayne and Garth, "Saturday Night Live")
"Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy" (Lloyd Bentsen to Dan Quayle)
"Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids" (Trix cereal ad)
"Smile, you're on `Candid Camera'" ("Candid Camera")
"Sock it to me" ("Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In")
"Space, the final frontier ..." (Capt. Kirk, "Star Trek")
"Stifle!" (Archie Bunker, "All in the Family")
"Suit up!" (Barney Stinson, "How I Met Your Mother")
"Tastes great! Less filling!" (Miller Lite beer ad)
"Tell me what you don't like about yourself" (Dr. McNamara and Dr. Troy, "Nip/Tuck")
"That's hot" (Paris Hilton, "The Simple Life")
"The thrill of victory, the agony of defeat" (Jim McKay, "ABC's Wide World of Sports")
"The tribe has spoken" (Jeff Probst, "Survivor")
"The truth is out there" (Fox Mulder, "The X-Files")
"This is the city ..." (Sgt. Joe Friday, "Dragnet")
"Time to make the donuts" ("Dunkin' Donuts" ad)
"Two thumbs up" (Siskel & Ebert, "Siskel & Ebert")
"Up your nose with a rubber hose" (Vinnie Barbarino, "Welcome Back, Kotter")
"We are two wild and crazy guys!" (Steve Martin and Dan Aykroyd as Czech playboys, "Saturday Night Live")
"Welcome to the O.C., bitch" (Luke, "The O.C.")
"Well, isn't that special?" (Dana Carvey as the Church Lady, "Saturday Night Live")
"We've got a really big show!" (Ed Sullivan, "The Ed Sullivan Show")
"Whassup?" (Budweiser ad)
"What you see is what you get!" (Geraldine, "The Flip Wilson Show")
"Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?" (Arnold Drummond, "Diff'rent Strokes")
"Where's the beef?" (Wendy's ad)
"Who loves you, baby?" (Kojak, "Kojak")
"Would you believe?" (Maxwell Smart, "Get Smart")
"Yabba dabba do!" (Fred Flintstone, "The Flintstones")
"Yada, yada, yada" ("Seinfeld")
"Yeah, that's the ticket" (Jon Lovitz as the pathological liar, "Saturday Night Live")
"You eeeediot!" (Ren, "Ren & Stimpy")
"You look mahvelous!" (Billy Crystal as Fernando, "Saturday Night Live")
"You rang?" (Lurch, "The Addams Family")
"You're fired!" (Donald Trump, "The Apprentice")
"You've got spunk ..." (Lou Grant, "The Mary Taylor Moore Show”)

Can you believe its already been five years since George Harrison died?












Monday, November 27, 2006

Is this Kris's class photo?



Sunday, November 26, 2006

Everyone off on their fabulous vacations and I went for another bike ride, but did remember to take my camera.




































































Saturday, November 25, 2006

Anyone want to play dead or alive? Follow the photos from top to bottom and submit an "a" for alive or "d" for dead in your comment. I think you get the idea. As Trudy would say, play nice, no cheating.

Eva Gabor


Victor Mature


Tina Louise

Stefanie Powers



Red Buttons



Mike Douglas



Merv Griffin


Amazing Kreskin



Judith Light


Jimmy Johnson


Janet Leigh


Jack Palance


Eva Gabor


Dorothy Hamill

Dean Stockwell


Bruno Kirby


Brian Keith

OK it’s official, I’m old.

It’s Saturday morning and I just crawled my aching ass out of bed. Last night John and I gave Jeff, Lindsay, Steve and Sue a hand moving into their new home. We arrived at the new place in time to help unload the second truck load from Steve and Sue’s house and then back to Theresa and Wayne’s to load Jeff and Lindsay’s stuff. We arrived at the same time as the Muskoka girls who were so excited about their trip. Kris was there showing off her belly. It’s funny to see the different male and female reaction, where the females are squealing ohhhhh look at your belly and the males are just like hmmm. Anyway we finished carrying all the furniture up the back stairs and onto the truck and then back to the new place to unload. Even though I said I wasn’t going to carry anything heavy there are only so many cushions and Steve kept beating me to them. All of my limbs are sore this morning. A big shout out to the young bucks Mark (Lindsay’s brother) and Todd who carried most of the heavy stuff. I wonder if their limbs are sore this morning too. Congratulations to Jeff, Lindsay, Steve and Sue who have a beautiful new home in a very nice neighbourhood. Now I have to go make myself unavailable because I know a load of wood and drywall arrives at their place today. Good luck with that. Tata.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Wow only 31 days to Christmas, 22 to my birthday, 5 to Todd’s, 27 to Jeff’s, 38 to Laurie’s birthdays …and the new year, 25 more days to a date that might be shared between Dan & Cherie’s (or should I say Laurie and Owen’s) little bundle of joy, and Kevin and Patty’s wedding day, and only 2 more sleeps to the big New York bus trip and 3 to Sam’s vacation cruise.


Well in case I forget or don’t get a chance to say it… Merry Christmas everyone, don’t spend to much on my gift, Happy Birthday to Todd, Jeff Laurie and a Happy New years to all, Dan and/or Cherie do you know if it’s a boy or girl, have you picked names, update your blog for Christmas sakes, Congratulations to Kevin and especially to Patty for finding herself a great guy, even tho he may not be rich or handsome or fit or… you’re employed right Kev? ..he does have a great sense of humour. I hope. No.. I hope you two share a long and happy marriage, and to T.J. and the Muskoka girl’s please don’t lose Aunt Theresa in the big apple and finally to Sam, Don’t bet the farm!!

Night all



An elderly woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole, which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water . At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do. After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my Side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house." The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?" "That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house." Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.
SO, to all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006


This morning was the first day of the season that I had to scrape my windshield. When I finished I jumped in the car and immediately headed to Tim Horton’s for my morning coffee. At first I could see fine but with my breathing it started to fog the inside of the windshield. I drove east directly into the rising sun and couldn’t see a fucking thing. I pulled over to the curb and stopped waiting for my heater to warm up. As soon as I pulled over a cop passed me going the opposite way… it’s not like I could see him coming.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Top Ten Reasons Why Golf Is Better Than Sex.


Why Golf Is Better Than Sex.....

#10... A below par performance is considered damn good.

#9... You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a couple of beers.

#8... It's much easier to find the sweet spot.

#7... Foursomes are encouraged.

#6... You can still make money doing it as a senior.

#5... Three times a day is possible.

#4... Your partner doesn't hire a lawyer if you play with someone else.

#3... If you live in Florida, you can do it almost everyday.

#2... You don't have to cuddle with your partner when you're finished.

And the NUMBER ONE reason why golf is better than sex.....

#1... If your equipment gets old and rusty, you can replace it!


I learned something new today.

Did you know, the origin of the American slang word "doozy", meaning something excellent or powerful, is from the Duesenberg's nickname "Duesy",












Sunday, November 19, 2006

I’m home from my bike ride; between John and I we’ve put a lot of miles on that bike. I really do enjoy riding, not only does it save me lots of money by not driving my car but your only worry is the next hill or the bus ahead slowing to pickup passengers or that idiot talking on his cell phone who hasn’t noticed me yet. Well maybe it’s not worry free but I still enjoy it. I rode east along Lawrence Rd and was surprised to find the path fairly clean of glass, mud and gravel. Hamilton has some nice bike paths in parts of the city. The problem is not enough of the bike paths are connect together and most are covered with broken glass. The path along Lawrence Rd ends around Mt Albion and then continues after Nash for another half mile or so. Today I rode through downtown Stoney Creek turned left on Grays Rd and continued to the beach, then along the waterfront to the lift bridge. I could see a ship approaching so waited about 20 minutes for it. Watching the ships come through always brings back memories of my dad. Most of our family drives would include the waterfront, walking along the lift bridge pier during smelting season or a drive by Leander Boat Club. Anyway, I’m waiting for this ship and this old guy comes hustling up to watch as well. He was a nice old man, pointed out where he parked his car at Spencer Smith Park. I said to him that’s a pretty far walk, just left off adding …for an old man. Gees! I have to stop hanging out with these old men, coffee with the seniors in the mall yesterday, watching the ship pass with the nice old man again today and besides one woman every other cyclist I saw was a 40-ish year old man. As we get to be them, do we just naturally gravitate towards them? Before I know it I’ll be sitting on the park bench in front of the funeral home. Anyway I got home from the ride with barely enough energy to carry the bike up the back stairs. Not like when John uses the bike, yesterday it seemed like he was gone for a little over an hour. When he got home he mentioned he was up on Mohawk Rd but wasn’t exactly sure where he was so retraced his path back home. He rode the path through Chedoke Golf Course and up the trail to the west mountain, past where Kevin photographed the deer, past the pedestrian bridge over the 403 and that’s how he got onto Mohawk Rd, in Ancaster. He barely seemed winded when he got home. I have followed that same route but knew enough to keep riding west on Mohawk until you hit Wilson St and then it’s a nice easy ride down the hill to Main St. But when I got home the bike didn’t make it back up the stairs, threw it in the back of the wagon. Anyway I’ve rambled on enough to push that wicked blog entry even further down. Trudy, it took me a few reads to understand your comment but now it makes so much sense why Tara and Kris also enjoyed that blog. You’re all tasteless sickos and I love you. Now is when I miss having a woman most in my life, I have to go cook dinner. Lastly, note to self; bring camera on future bike rides. Have a great week everyone.

I need to add something on here to get rid of that awful blog. On Friday a guy dropped a hard copy of my previous blog on my desk. I sat there reading it with tears streaming down my face trying to suppress the laughter. It gave me a soar throat trying to hold down the laughter but I didn’t want anyone coming up behind me saying; Hey, what’s so funny? … Oh you sick bastard!! That’s about as funny as having a “No. 1 Dad” roach clip. Anyway… How was your weekend? For those of you that don’t know, after my car problems I bought a 1997 Ford Escort wagon. I can’t believe I’ve already added over 2000 kilometers on it. Last week while driving home my “service engine soon” light came on. Yesterday I took it to Wal-Mart for an oil change and asked them if they could also reset the engine light. After the oil change I asked the girl at the service desk if they got the light reset. She said the mechanics didn’t have the proper equipment and when I started the car up the light was still on. I hadn’t seen my mom in about two weeks so thought I would drive up for a visit. About half way to her place I noticed the light had gone off. Hmmm. Early Saturday morning, while waiting for my car, I sat in the food court at Eastgate Square drinking coffee. If you’re ever feeling old just go to a mall early in the morning. It doesn’t even have to be on the weekend. You’ll feel like a young man again. Anyway I just wanted to mention that I noticed this old guy, probably approaching 80, reading a newspaper across from me. Every time he turned a new page he would lick his thumb. It brought back memories of Duffy, because he used to do that as well. It’s funny how little things like that will bring back a memory from the past. As I watched this old guy reading the paper sometimes he would put his thumb up close to his mouth but not lick it and turn the page. Is it my imagination or did Duffy also do that??? The last thing I’ll mention on here is, does anyone watch The Flavor of Love? I know I’m always moaning about there nothing being on TV but in my opinion this has passed The Office as the funniest show on TV. Every time that I watch it I laugh out loud. Flavor-Flav parades around in his big stupid costumes and the sleazy girls that they pick as his potential partners are the best. For anyone who doesn’t watch the show just go to You Tube and watch a few of the clips. They are hilarious. Anyway that should be enough rambling to move my last guilty pleasure blog further down the site. John is leaving soon to have a family photo done with the Barton’s and I’m off for a bike ride. Hope you all had a great weekend.

Friday, November 17, 2006

If you didn't think my last blog was funny please don't read any further.

RAISING YOUR MENTALLY RETARDED CHILD

Part 1: Letting it sink in

Why us?

Your slow-witted, funny-looking child is seven years old and, despite the savage beatings you administer as punishment, he still drinks out of the toilet. The family doctor confirms your worst fears: you’ve got yourself a mongoloid. The first thing you ask yourself is, “What did we do to deserve this abomination?” Contrary to popular belief, making fun of retards as a child does not increase your chances of having a retarded kid yourself. If that were the case, everyone’s children would look alike and be afraid of water. No—you did something far worse to deserve your fate.

Is there anything we can do?

Legally speaking, no. The supreme court has made it clear that post-birth abortions are unconstitutional, even in cases of rape, incest, and awkwardness. Adoption is an option, but they tend to charge a lot more to take one of those cretins of your hands, especially if it already responds to a typical retard name, like Chaz or Roofus.

Loving the Beast

Obviously, a normal loving relationship is out of the question. However, you might one day come to accept your retarded child for what he or she is: a mildly amusing nuisance. While usually a hassle, mentals make wonderful entertainment at dinner parties and family gatherings. Ask them simple questions and laugh at their ridiculous answers or strip them naked and spray them with a hose. Just watch the drugs around them. They’re absolutely terrifying when you’re stoned.

Part 2: Daily Care

Feeding Them

Like goldfish, mongoloids don’t stop eating if food is around. Thus, if you are going to Europe for a month, you can’t simply leave a ten pound turkey in their food dish- they’ll eat until they die. You can get in a lot of trouble for that, so just ship them a pizza once a week.

Training Them

Most retards can be trained to achieve the obedience of a moderately well-behaved house pet. Using classical conditioning, develop a reinforcement schedule, punishing or rewarding your animal appropriately. For example, if it defecates in the washing machine, make it sleep outside in the rain. Or, if it finishes tilling the fields before sundown, leave a piece of cake in its cage.

Part 3: Education

Reading, Writing, and Not Hurting Yourself

Even mongloids need to attend school, if only to get them out of your hair for a few hours a day. There, they learn the important life lessons that you will be too depressed and frustrated to teach them, like not eating scissors or running with glue.

Transportation

A small benefit of having a mentally challenged child is getting to see the short bus every day. While your son or daughter brings you nothing but heartache, watching the other spasmos lick the seatbelts and poke each other with lollipops never gets old. When the Tart Cart arrives to temporarily relieve you of your nauseating charge, with fifteen identical heads drooling out the window, having earned the right to laugh almost makes bearable the living hell that has become your life.

Sports

Athletics are an integral part of a tard’s development. Eating bugs all day gives them an almost inhuman amount of energy, and unless you want them setting fire to family heirlooms and attacking the gawking disaster in the mirror with vintage bottles of wine, you better get them on a team. Youth soccer is the ideal sport for mongoloids because of the large, wide-open field and lack of sharp objects. Your child can go the entire season without ruining the fun for everyone else. If you sign your child up for a more nuanced sport like baseball, prepare to be extremely embarrassed when it forgets the infield fly rule or misses the signal for a hit-and-run or carries second base off into the woods.

The Ivy League of Retardation

There are a number of special communities for super-retards, i.e. the ones who can brush their own teeth with minimal adult supervision. It is the goal of all parents to send their mutated offspring to one of these concentration camps, where they will spend the rest of their lives using their tiny fingers to make greeting cards and paper flowers. These communities are located on islands and fenced in corners of the wilderness, since the horror of stumbling upon such a village and being offered tootsie-rolls by two hundred groaning midgets would render any traveler as feeble and helpless as the very rejects haunting the woods. They say no man has ever returned from a retard village. We advise you buy your kid a bus ticket and say, “fare thee well.”

Part 4: Personality

Temperament

The mentally challenged are emotionally unstable and utterly helpless. They do not respond well to slaps in the face, running faucets, or being dropped off on the side of the road because they wouldn’t stop crying in the back seat. If a smoke alarm goes off, they don’t, as you or I would, say to themselves, “Where is that unpleasant sound coming from? What is causing it to make that sound and how can I disable the appropriate mechanism?” No. They just run around screaming like retards.

Social Skills

Retards are very inconsiderate. If they had the slightest regard for the happiness of their parents, they would have wandered off years ago. In addition to their horrible table manners, they lack adequate conversational skills and rarely (if ever) remember the names of new acquaintances, all of which can reflect poorly on you. When introducing the travesty to others, make sure to point out that your dirty, self-absorbed moron of a child was born that way.

Sex

Though the thought is humorous, mentals should not be having sex. In fact, it’s probably illegal. Sure, you could videotape your child and its love interest having sex and sell the video on eBay for, say, $49.99 with a title like “Mongoloid Love” or “Ass-Fucking on the Short Bus.” But God only knows what the child of two retards would look like. Furthermore, they're just as likely to be sexually attracted to stuffed animals and rocking chairs as other “human” beings.

Part 5: The Benefits of Having Your Very Own Retard

Skipping Long Lines

When you suffer a nervous breakdown and lose your job because your twelve year old child can’t read and eats glass, at least you won’t have to wait around at the unemployment office. Just parade the little goofball around on a leash and skip to the front of the line at liquor stores, gun retailers, and racetracks.

Nowhere to Go but Up

In conclusion, having a mentally retarded child is a fate far worse than death, which means that life can’t really get any worse for you. Paralysis, stroke-induced blindness, bankruptcy…all of these tragedies pale in comparison with having a 19-year old son whose favorite color is “dog.” So cheer up! God can’t fuck you any more.

Thursday, November 16, 2006



I think I'm going to hell for thinking this is funny but thought I would sahre it with you anyway.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Update the blog? Who has time, and nothing exciting has happened to me lately anyway. I did buy a lottery ticket tonight so if I don’t update this site in the next few weeks good luck finding me. Just kidding, I’d take care of all of you… or most of you… maybe some of you… ass kissing could sway a few bucks. I’ll only buy a lottery ticket when the pot is huge and the couple of bucks isn’t wasted, it allows you to fantasize about what you could do with $36M fucking dollars. That’s a lot of ass kissing money, you could really affect a lot of lives. I would probably give most of it away because who really needs $36M fucking dollars… and I firmly believe that charity begins at home, sorry Jerry’s kids. When you start to think about giving it away, where do you stop, or with whom? I even considered those homeless guys in Vegas, maybe I can make their day when we all meet in Vegas for Kevin’s wedding? Wouldn’t that be cool!!! Awww that was the best $2 bucks I spent all week. Thanks guys. Gotta go fix dinner.