I was cleaning out my in box tonight and i still don't find this funny.

The East Coasters Are A Crafty lot!

A Scotsman, an Englishman and a Newfoundlander were sitting in a bar in Toronto. The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, the food exceptional.

"As good as this is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The Landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he will buy the fifth drink for you."

"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "At my local in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."

"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the Newfie. "Back home in Sin Jahn's there's the Codfish Bar. The moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see dat you gets laid, all on the house!"

The Englishman and Scotsman immediately shout down the Newfie's claims, but he swears every word is true. "Well," said the Englishman, still suspicious. "Did this actually happen to you?"

"Not meself, personally, no," admitted the Newf. "But it did happen to me sister quite a few times."

Don’t really have the time to sit in front of the computer to blog something interesting but it’s sunday morning and raining sooo I’m here anyway. I walked up to Timmy’s to grab a coffee this morning. The only interesting thing to happen was, when I got to the small drive through store and the counter area was packed with people. I waited outside until the first person was served before I entered. This lady 2 ahead of me in line has a multiply coffee order, which included a large black sugar and one half-sugar, and a large half-cream no sugar. Up to that point I had been checking her out thinking oh yea I’d be all over that, but after the coffee order my desire for her waned. hehe I couldn’t believe she had the nerve to place orders for half cream or sugar when there were people lined up out the door. So she gets the order and is on her way. I’m waiting for my double-double when she re-enters the store, reaches her coffee over my shoulder towards the young girl working and says does that look like a half-cream to you. At that point I just wanted to punch her in the face. Am I wrong? What comedian said, the longer your coffee order, the bigger asshole you are? I really try to have a more positive outlook but sometimes people make it hard. Like the other day (might have been last weekend) I was walking home from the same Horton’s with my same easy coffee order, along Maplewood in front of St. Peters Hospital and I see this elderly woman walking towards me. I chuckled to myself because she’s dressed all in purple, pants, shirt, hat, shoes, purse, scarf… and all in the same shade. The only thing I noticed different was her white socks, maybe she’s an anti-Donny Osmond fan. I feel gay just knowing that little fact. Anyway as we’re ready to pass each other she looks me right in the face. I smile and say good morning to her and she totally snubs me. Without acknowledging my greeting she puts her head down and walks by. She’s lucky I didn’t punch her in the face until I found the right shade of purple. Geez I’m so angry. Well, sorry more interesting things don’t happen to me but as usual I’ve got nothing…

Does anyone want an old leaf blower?

Today is International Disadvantaged People's Day.

Please send an encouraging message to a retarded friend, just as I've done. I don't care if you lick windows, interfere with farm animals, vote liberal or occasionally shit yourself.......You hang in theresunshine, You're fucking special...

My member of parliament, David Christopherson, sent me another newsletter regarding the “Fighting Poverty in Hamilton” house of commons debates on September 22, 2006. I could have used the “No Postage Required” section to send a reply, but e-mailed mine.

“Poverty is a cancer in my community and across our country. We owe it to all Canadians current and future to work to eliminate it.”

Do you not see the absurdity in your statement? You start by informing us that 52% of recent immigrants to Hamilton live below the poverty line. The only thing “shocking and shameful” is that Canada continues to allow uneducated and unskilled immigrants into our great country. How can we even consider “future” Canadians with our current economy, especially in Hamilton??


Mike Dauphinee

What’s a conundrum? Because I think I have one. My talented intelligent son (I think that’s how I described him on my profile) won a Proficiency Award at school. He was suppose to accept the award during the school assembly but decided to skip. At first I accused him of chickening out, not wanting to get up on stage in front of everybody. When we had a chance to talk he told me, its like when the athletes receive awards for playing sports well these academic medals are for the nerds. I guess I can appreciate that he doesn’t want to be known at school as a nerd. John skipping school to avoid accepting the award isn’t so much my problem tho. Tonight I come home to find he’s been suspended from school for three days. He’s been skipping his second period, decided he didn’t like the course and just stop going. He deletes the phone messages from the school before I get home from work. My work phone number on file at Delta is an old number so when they couldn’t reach me they called Sherry to let her know they were sending him home today. The same day he received his honours roll award they ban him from being on school property for three days. Interesting side note, when I got home from work tonight the dishes were done.

Do you ever feel a little insignificant? Tell me if you knew the difference in size was this extreme. Antares is the 15th brightest star in the sky.