...Ive got nothing...: July 2006

The AIDS epidemic

continues to focus on the

the established risk groups

I

love

Paris in the

the springtime

Danielle called tonight.

Normally I love to hear from Danielle, but not so much tonight. At first we chatted about the same old thing but tonight we caught up on what happened in Milton while she was away in NYC. An 18-year old girl that attended Milton District High School, and had a locker a couple over from Danielle’s, was roller-blading along a side street around eight o’clock at night and was struck by a pickup truck. The truck hit her so hard it broke her upper spine, almost severing her head. The driver left the scene. When she didn’t show up at home her father went looking and found her lying in the ditch beside the road. The 34-year old hit and run driver of the truck was found at a motel the next day. Numerous charges were laid including possession of stolen goods and cocaine. Funeral arrangements were delayed to allow time for family members to fly over from England. On the day of the funeral Milton’s local newspaper issues a front-page article on how this guy got released on bail, the same day as the girl’s funeral. We barely finish discussing the absolute horror of this story when Danielle starts her next. During this same weekend a 20-year old boy that also went to MDHS, and dated a friend of Danielle’s, was at work building a new BMX track. He got off the heavy equipment that he was operating and somehow the machine jumped into gear and slowly ran him over, from his feet up to his head. The story goes that the pressure pushed up through his body and exploded this kids head. His younger brother, who also worked for this company, witnessed the whole thing happen. Danielle wasn’t finished yet, she asked if I had heard about Papa. Glen Barton previously had a lung removed for cancer and apparently it has spread into his other lung. Glen’s new wife called from PEI to let the family know that he doesn’t have much time left. It’s sad, but I don’t think any of his kids will even make an attempt to go see him before he passes.

Effective propaganda sometimes depends on our tendency to see or hear what we expect, rather than what is there. Exploiting this tendency, propagandists can say or show one thing, knowing most of us will see or hear something else. Non-controversial examples showing how easily information can be "hidden in plain sight" are found most readily in non-propaganda.

Discrepancies in images are often harder to spot. The best non-propaganda example of which I'm aware is the picture below. It appeared as an album cover in 1976. The photo has been intentionally manipulated to include numerous 'errors' that most cannot see unless they are pointed out, and some have problems with even then. Given the album's title, we can assume that the photographer, the producers and the marketers were not attempting to manipulate us, but to demonstrate our perceptual blind spots. Indeed, Andrew Gold (the performer) claims that there are 32 things wrong with the picture, and credits photographer Ethan Russell for the idea and its execution.

My lasy-ass blog attempt. Enjoy!!

I'm on my way to Theresa's for a long over due visit.

Can you name 100 movie titles from this picture?

The History of the Middle Finger

Well, now......here's something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to share it with my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified. Isn't history more fun when you know something about it?

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew").

Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew!

Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to libidinal fricative ‘F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute! It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird."

IT IS STILL AN APPROPRIATE SALUTE TO THE FRENCH TODAY!

And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing.

Or is this just another example of "Don't believe everything you read"?

Don’t say those words to me again. Or even think about saying them. Never again do I want to hear it. The thought of having to go through that makes me want to kill myself. Bitchiness comes in cute little packages. Every time I see you I feel as if I’m going to lose my lunch. Lose it on your cute face. I don’t think it’ll be so cute anymore though. Ever so thick it will be caked on. Vain no more I tell you. Every amount of liquid in your body will be pushed through your eyes. Eyes that I once fell so deeply in love with. Very deep, I was basically wiping your ass. Every ounce of dignity just out the door. Rabidly throwing everything away just for some attention from you. Yes, even my friends too. The thing that gets me so much is that the hints were there from the beginning. Hints that I thought were not hints, but a bad mood or fatigue. I sure am kicking myself now. Never again will I be so stupid. Gawky I have become from worrying about you and not for myself. You may read this and think that I am ridiculous, but you can’t deny the truth. Over and over I want you to think about this. Usually, any normal person would come to the conclusion that you are a horrible person. Really, I’m not expecting it from you. Ever too tied up with your glamour magazines to even realise. Am I just an inconvenience to you? Did you ever really care?

Trudy, some of the stuff you send me is funny.

This is not one of them, or two of them.

Guess who's coming to dinner?

I think it was Jeff’s blog, I commented how I watched the CFL quarterback challenge and Kevin Eakin was winning. For most of you that don’t know (including me, until I just googled it) Eakin came in second. Not bad for a benchwarmer challenging first-string quarterbacks. For the 15 minutes that I watched it was a timed obstacle course where the QB ran and then had to throw for accuracy. Somewhere in my 15 minutes of viewing an on-site interviewer asked one of the players; If you could have any three people over for dinner who would they be?

What a cool question. So I’m giving it some thought.

Obviously they would have to be living so I’m not holding a plate open for John Lennon’s corpse. Which by the way would have been my first choice if it included dead people. Then my first easy choice would be Paul McCartney. I thought for a second maybe Ringo Starr. To me, he seems the type that once he got a few drinks into him you might get to hear the really really good Beatlemania stories. However I’m not using two plates on a Beatle, and come on… he was the drummer. He doesn’t come close to replacing Paul at my table. So who’s next? I’m really not big on the whole entertainment industry. The only person I even considered from television or movies is Mike Myer’s. He just seems like a regular guy that you might be able to relate to on some level. But I don’t know… if this dinner is like the Make a Wish Foundation and everyone that I invite comes and pretends to enjoy it, and me… does Mike Myer’s still qualify? I’m not big on politics. The only politician that I gave a second thought to was Bill Clinton. But sorry Bill I’ve heard your dirty secrets, no free dinner for you. I watch sports a lot. About the only active athlete I consider table-worthy is Tiger Woods. Maybe even get a few pointers. Muhammad Ali might be a good choice. But he would probably just drool on the tablecloth all through dinner. Maybe I should invite a woman. Someone should be there to clear the dishes when we’re done. But who??? Ohhhh noooooo Yoko. Not a chance!!! If a woman is invited to my fantasy dinner she has to be eye-candy for me and my other male guests. It’s probably even better if she’s not famous or an intellect… just super hot to look at. With that comment I just made up my mind. Howard Stern will be there with Paul and …. Tiger.